Why I don't CUT or BULK

If you have been here for awhile, you know I have been through a LOT of physiques in my life. Through disordered eating (100Lbs) to binge eating (160Lbs), I had a LOT to work through mentally to figure out how to find what worked for me as something to maintain and not bounce between weights every single season.

While fitness and nutrition is NOT a one size fits all, it took me a lot of trial and error to find that for me, the 'popular' cutting and bulking you see advertised in the fitness industry was hurting my relationship with food, leaving me unhappy, and left me feeling as if my results were only sustainable short term.

In 2020, I really made the breakthrough the get rid of this mentality once and for all and since I am happy to say I have maintained exactly where I feel comfortable (which for me is around 130lbs -- NOT because of the number on the scale, but I know I feel best, fit my clothes how I like, and feel tight at that weight) for 3+ years -- and got back to it within 6 months postpartum, NOT from being restrictive, but instead bouncing back to my habits that I followed pre-and-during all of my pregnancy. My journey is NOT the same as your journey, your numbers, or your goals, but I do want to be vulnerable to share my experience in hopes it helps someone else not go through everything I had to, to learn!

WHAT IS CUTTING & BULKING? While in bodybuilding, there is a very specific process to it, many women follow some variation of it that usually falls 'cutting' before a trip, before spring or summer, where you usually decrease your calories and increase your cardio or exercise, in expectation to 'cut' body fat. Then, usually at winter time, you bulk, or get into a caloric surplus, to build muscle... with expectation that next season, you will 'cut' again and have larger muscle to show.

FOR ME THIS LOOKED LIKE: A (couple) weeks of extreme calorie restriction, lots of treadmill time, only allowing myself 1 "cheat meal" (I don't use that term anymore!) per week, and progress photos every Monday. Then, I decided... I am too hungry and tired for this, I will just 'bulk' a little longer and cut later on. AKA, let me justify over-stuffing my face, because I have over-restricted, and I am exhausted mentally and physically and all I want to do is eat and not workout.

WHAT DID I DO TO STOP THIS CYCLE? Like I mentioned, some people love this process of cutting and bulking, but I know personally I have found a lot more happiness in maintenance. In 2020, I was eager to lose some body fat for good, so I calculated my macros (which I teach in my boot camp) and got to where I wanted to be (130Lbs) -- about a 20-30Lb weight loss over all. After this, I decided I wanted to keep this physique, but eat a bit more.. so I began a reverse diet (also taught in boot camp). This meant I SLOWLY increased my calories over a period of about 1 year, and I did still try to stick to my calorie goal more often than not. Of course on vacations and holidays I gave myself a lot more wiggle room, and i enjoyed dining out frequently and tried to make 'ok' decisions... like eat 2 pieces of pizza, not the whole pizza. Eat a medium ice cream not a large. Through that year I was able to get my calorie goal to about 1900 calories (which was a lot to eat for me and I loved it!) while still maintaining just 3-4 boot camp workouts per week, walking, and 130Lbs. I maintained this for 2 full years (just loosely tracking occasionally, but mainly eating based off of what I remembered from my full year of tracking macros) until I got pregnant in summer 2022 (best news ever!) This process is 99% what I give my credit to for maintaining a relatively low weight gain (28lbs) through pregnancy and getting 'back' to my weight within 6 months postpartum. No, again, it is not about the number on the scale - but that gives you some data as I am writing it out. All of that time that I stayed consistent with my eating and didn't 'cut' and 'bulk' my calories every few months, my body knew where it felt 'best' at on it's own and I am able to maintain that weight again, just as I did pre-baby, with less work outs than I did during my 'cutting days' (I now do 20 minutes resistance training boot camp workouts, 3-4X week, and walking), eating more daily (2,000 calories), and I fulfill my craving as soon as it comes - I don't wait for cheat meals or restrict myself. If I want a Dumplins roll today, I am going to eat it, with a little less butter maybe, and maybe paired with a salad - and I won't feel guilty or counteract it or over exercise. And some days... I get the roll and the cake and the quiche because I am a human, too, but I get right back to eating what FUELS me the best next meal and move on!

If you are still reading this, you may be in a pattern where you feel stuck in the cut/bulk or diet phase and I hope this has encouraged you that you CAN break that cycle for good. Maintaining has been the best thing for my mental health and gives me so much freedom to enjoy fun moments and memories with my family, traveling, at parties - things that in the past would have given me anxiety or I would have skipped eating at.